Seven Weeks! Pregnancy Update

Hello!

I’m sorry it’s been so long. The last few weeks have been really interesting and busy.

First and foremost: I’m still pregnant! I have my first appointment and ultrasound this next Monday. It will be the first time I get to see Pumpkin, and I’m ecstatic and nervous.

I have underestimated pregnancy. I assumed it would be in waves, but no, the exhaustion is constant, the wooziness (as I’m calling it, since I’m not quite dizzy) is from about midday to evening (och, yeah…that does last that long), the boobs to hurt in waves (but that also depends on my bra), et cetera. I cramp every so often, but it’s not really painful and not intense. I had a teensy bit of spotting at one point that I probably wouldn’t have noticed at all if I weren’t meticulous about checking for it (still waiting for that period that gets to stay away for 7 more months).

No morning sickness yet, and I know I’m blessed in that. I have told pretty much everyone.

Right now, I’m a little upset as I believe I have to miss my favorite activity of LARPing this weekend. I drive about three and a half hours to be at these events, but the wooziness makes it really difficult to even be in a moving car, let alone drive one. There’s so much planned this weekend, too, and I miss it all. My house is going through some trying times, and I’m the local leader, so I have to miss that and leave it to someone I really don’t trust.

BUT, baby will be worth it. I can’t even tell you how excited I am to be a mommy!

Wait, What?

I had never realized how much of a “pleaser” I am. I love making people happy – that much I knew, but I tend to censor myself so as not to offend.

So, today, Mr. Adorkable asked me if I wanted to join him for a game of D&D in about a month.

I don’t. Let’s be clear: I’ve tried tabletop RP before and it’s just not my thing. LARP worked for me, and I am more than at home with Post-by-Post…but tabletop just didn’t click. Here I am, panicking…what do I tell him? I don’t want him to lose interest in me because I don’t do this game with him…but I also really don’t want to go.

When we started our relationship, I decided to be honest. It was harder than I thought. I found myself saying things like “yeah, that’s cool,” and then I’d pause and say “actually, no, I’ve never really found/seen/done that.” It was a really different experience for me, and made me realize just how much I adjust myself to please the people around me. Luckily, I had the foresight to explain to him what I was doing so he didn’t think I had multiple personality disorder!

It’s so easy to slip back into old habits, though, to give into that terror that if I’m not just so, he’ll leave.

But, I resolved to be honest…mostly because he does make me happy, so I needed to be honest with him rather than making myself miserable and keep up a lie. So I told him that I’d rather not. And his reply? “Okay, no problem.”

No problem? Do you not know the struggle that went into assembling that response? No problem…oh, yeah, that’s right. You’re my boyfriend who hasn’t judged me yet (except for going barefoot at the store while trying on clothes, LoL), and has yet to tell me that my emotions or opinions are wrong.

Another happy surprise from Mr. Adorkable. :3

-Sarra

On the Flipside

You know what I just realized? I have not updated anyone on here about my job!

Historically, I’m a bad worker. If I hate my job, I do a bad job at it. I find excuses to call in sick as often as possible, my performance deteriorates, and the only thing that is consistently good is my attitude toward customers. Well, at my current job, that hasn’t really been the case. I’ve excelled, and because the company I work for is actually concentrated around performance and actually taking a look and acknowledging those who do well, I am enjoying it. The atmosphere is great, attitudes are fabulous, and I feel valued.

Just over two weeks ago, I was pulled into the manager’s office of another department and asked if, because I’m doing so well, would I become an interim leader in their department? Of course, I said yes because it is a company I know I can grow with and actually would love to do more with them – and this opportunity would give me the chance I need to make sure they know I’m someone that THEY can grow with.

Fast forward to today – I’m not getting paid for the job I’m doing. It’s alright, I knew that going in, but it’s clarified just how much I want this leader position to become permanent. I don’t want to be waiting for their leader to come back every moment and wind up going back to what I was doing before. I’m solving problems, handling tantrums, dealing with issues and I love every moment.

So, in another department, the manager is moving to another area, and so the leader position I carry now is potentially going to open up and so I can apply for that. I talked to my temporary manager about what they think I would need to do in order to be the best candidate for that and they told me to wait. Specifically: “hold your britches.” Apparently, they’re having a meeting about me today and can’t tell me anything about it until after…

So now my mind is going a million miles a minute in a million different directions. My temporary manager made it seem like it is definitely a good thing, so I can’t help but to wonder if they are trying to make my “interim/temporary” position permanent. It seems like the likeliest conclusion, as they have made it abundantly clear they were going to try that – but we all know it’s a long shot.

And now I play my favorite game! The waiting game. Wooo. Mr. Adorkable is super supportive, which is awesome considering how far away he is and that means I’m more invested in staying where I am…isn’t it crazy how things start working out? *knock on wood*

LoL, it sounds like this week is going to be rather eventful.

Sending love!

-Sarra