Reflections of Expectations Unmet

I told my dad a couple weeks ago. Well, now I’m hearing what he *really* thinks about it and I just need to rant.

My dad is now telling my brother what he really thinks: that he wishes I had gone about this in a different way. Of course he does, because he has no imagination, no concept that there are a million different kinds of families, and mine is just a new one he hasn’t been able to grasp yet. No matter what choice I’d made – to stay with my ex despite the problems and wait out his anxiety regarding change, to become an old spinster lady, to travel abroad and write – none would have made him happy. And for me, it’s a relief to know that, because it removes the pressure of trying to fit into the teensy tiny box he made for me when I was small. I’ve never fit into that box, that ideal he has for me. Ever.

And I’m glad. I’m glad I’m not normal, I’m glad I did try to explore those other options for myself before coming back to the one I know I wanted. I am so ecstatic to be having this baby, and nothing is going to change that.